There’s always that one parent that seems to stand out as the “cool” one. You don’t exactly know why or how they got the label as the cool parent, but you undoubtedly want your kids to think of you the same way.
However, letting your kids get away with trouble, letting them do whatever they want, and never reprimanding them for anything, is not what it means to be a cool parent. If you want to learn what it means to be cool parents the right way, keep reading!
Try To Say Yes
“Parents need to strike a balance between protection and autonomy to foster resilience in their children. Overprotection can inadvertently stifle growth and independence, leading to increased anxiety and dependency.” — Dr. Laura Markham, Clinical Psychologist and Author, from her book “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids.”
A unique study to consider is “The Impact of Helicopter Parenting on College Students’ Well-Being” conducted by Holly H. Schiffrin et al., published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies. This research delves into how overprotective parenting can affect young adults’ mental health and well-being, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to experience challenges and develop coping mechanisms.
So, instead of turning to your default answer, “no,” try opening your mind and agreeing to your child’s request. And no, this does not mean you need to lower your boundaries and standards. This only means that you want your child to feel free enough to make their own choices and make their own mistakes that they can learn from.
By doing so, you’re showing them that you trust them and that you want to give them the opportunity to use their freedom wisely. This, in turn, will strengthen the relationship you have with them.
Make Yourself Always Available to Talk
A cool parent always has a close relationship with their children—close enough that they feel they can talk about anything. Yet, to make your children feel comfortable enough to approach you for any topic, try to prove to them that you’re ready to listen without judging them.
“Effective communication is the cornerstone of a strong parent-child relationship. When children feel heard and understood, they are more likely to open up and share their thoughts and feelings,” says Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and researcher in emotional intelligence.
If your child raises an awkward subject, disguise your discomfort or horror and hear them out. And, if your child asks for your opinion, tactfully share your thoughts without offending them in order to teach them valuable life lessons.
And the sooner you start, the better. Even if your child is relatively young to speak about certain topics, you can always begin to make yourself emotionally available whenever they need to. Whether you’re still using an EliteBaby diaper bag, or you’re already driving them off to school, it’s never too soon to start.
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Of course, discipline is required if you want to raise a golden child, but you don’t want to overreact to every little thing and be petty about other issues. You need to set your rules when it comes to making big choices, but try to remain calm and to think clearly when it comes to smaller things, such as wearing makeup or dying hair. If they ask for something that is out of the question, let them down gently. And if there’s something that really isn’t that big of a deal and is worth considering, give it some thought.
As parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham from Aha! Parenting says, “The key to effective discipline is to stay calm and connect with your child emotionally before trying to correct their behavior.” This approach allows for a balanced and thoughtful response to minor issues, helping to maintain a positive and supportive parent-child relationship.
A unique study that supports this balanced approach to discipline is the research conducted by Elizabeth Gershoff and Andrew Grogan-Kaylor, titled “Spanking and Child Outcomes: Old Controversies and New Meta-Analyses.” Published in the Journal of Family Psychology, this study found that harsh disciplinary tactics like spanking are associated with more negative outcomes in children, emphasizing the importance of gentle guidance and thoughtful responses in parenting.
Be The Cool Parents Every Kid Dreams Of Having!
Yes, it is possible to be cool parents and be responsible at the same time. You don’t have to lower your boundaries and lose your authority figure in order to be seen as a cool parent. Just try to find a balance, but most of all, don’t forget what’s most important, which is doing what’s best for your child.
“Being a cool parent is about being present, understanding, and supportive while maintaining clear boundaries and expectations,” says Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a clinical psychologist and author of “The Conscious Parent.”
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